A New World – by Maisoon Bashir

From Mo3 Blog

#Stories from Photo from Mo3 Blog

Absolutus Storyteller is pleased to share Maisoon’s story from Gaza, (originally published on: http://justiciaparagaza.blogspot.de/2014/09/a-new-world-by-maisoon-bashir.html)

Sharing #StoriesFromPalestine:

The desire to detach myself from the world for a long time and to enter a new world, a private one, overcame me.

I switched off my mobile phone that had begun to show signs of its impending slow death and cut off contact with all persons through all mediums of communication. In short, any link that I have with the real world. We all need time to ourselves, free from the unrelenting distractions of this world.

I felt that I needed to get far away from everything, from every voice I did not want to hear, for I will not allow myself to be killed via means to which I have not acquiesced. I wish to die with dignity, with my head held high; does man actually exercise any control over the manner of his death ?

Call me crazy, for it is my best feature, but I hate to feel weak and powerless because it kills me and tears me apart. Sometimes I wish to die a thousand deaths just so that I can escape this feeling; I would do anything, just one thing to rid myself of this cursed poison.

No more the role of ‘loyal friend’, no more the role of ‘caring mother’ as my friends call me; everything has stopped but I have not died!. The person inside me does not die, sickness and pain cannot touch the person inside me. Inside me is a woman borne of the womb of determination.

I agonised from pain in my back and my leg and could not move easily, I had an urge to enter into a deep sleep. I felt pleasure at that moment and wanted to enjoy the taste of sleep, for which I have been thirsty for a long time. My mother came after she was urgently called to give me my medicine, hoping that it would ease my pain for some time so I could sleep. The pain, however, would not go away, for it is stronger than any drug known to modern medicine.

My private world. O’ merciful bullet that has saved my soul and given me a new lease of life, even if it was only for a few minutes or a few days !

I rested my thoughts, my aching body and wandering dreams. So I took to reading and writing, unaware that my fingers were even moving. I am a different person now. So when I came to and tried to read what I had written, I was astonished and wondered who had written this, to whom, when and how ? The answer was I do not know.!

I always thought that reading and writing were my enemies, as I had always said that I did not enjoy either of them. I would complete my academic obligations as requested by my professors, a chore that had to be done, nothing more.

Don’t ask me how because I do not know ,but everything changed; I found myself floating, flying or even swimming in an another world. Moving from one book to another, from literature to poetry to religion, from here and there, travelling around the world like Ibn Battuta. I moved through the pages of a novel like a musician along the strings of his world ! In your realms there is no concept of time, shackles have been broken and borders have been crossed; floating and flying, no matter where, the only important thing is that I fly.

I used to always try to cut all ties between these two worlds as each of them is different; the first, distorted and poisoned with its damned thoughts and ideas; the second, I cannot find the words to describe it, its most beautiful feature is its innocence.

Imagine me reading a novel in one day?! How beautiful you are my private instrument.

How can I return to this wretched world from which I am running away, looking for another world, where I hope to find what I have been searching for a long time, where I hope to find peace, “peace” my dear friends!

For an unknown reason, I felt the urge to open a narrow passage to this world when I read that someone had written “Weeping is a remedy for women, they weep in order to forget their worries, to cope with a greater burden; while men can erupt before they break into tears. Women are strong because they weep. Men cannot withstand an equal burden to women, who weep to find the strength required to deal with the situation. As such, you must weep men and feel no shame, weep in order to cope, learn from women”.

I was startled by the trail of images surrounding me, women and children crying, but what really struck me were the weeping men and I found the following words coming from me like a burning flame:

“Here, in Gaza, there are real men,

They have wept because the pain has exceeded all limits,

Because the pain has torn the hearts,

Because the voices have become throaty”.!!

I wish I could have caught their magnificent tears with a little handkerchief to make a crown to be placed on the heads of the free !

Here, dear writer, you find what you were wishing for has come true; as here everything is different, here everything exists beyond all limitations, beyond written words.

My regards,
Maisoon — August 5th, 2014.

“I am Maisoon.Bashir, 22 years old . A simple Palestinian girl. a freelance Translator, a journalist and activist in human rights. I studied English Language Translation at Gaza University. I am writing from my heart, my feeling inside me, Writing to laud my voice and flying like a bird in sky. My dream is to be star in sky, a start and a voice of truth, of my beloved country..! I love photography , because I believe that the picture takes more words…  As a Palestinian I believe in peace and tolerance among all people. I am a Palestinian and I believe in peace. My father, who passed away four years ago, taught me to always look at the future and not to be distracted by the painful present as it is my only way to reach my goals in life as a student. The people in Gaza also have dreams and high hopes for the future just like me, teaching the world about the values and principles that I learned in Gaza, in my school, and in my house.”

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“I Was Born In Gaza” – ” ولدت في غزة”

— Arabic/English —

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“ولدت في غزة”

“ولدت في غزة
ولدت لأكون حزينا
ولدت لان أكون شجاعا
ولدت لان أحيا
ولدت لان أموت
عاصرت عدة حروب
رأيت القتل والدمار والجوع والحرمان
رأيت طفل يصرخ
رأيت أم تبكي
رأيت أبا يصرخ
فقدت أحبابي
فقدت أصدقائي
ولكن لم افقد الأمل
استيقظ كل يوم على صوت الموت
أشاهد الموت والمسه
ولكن لست خائفا منه
فقد أصبح الموت ممل…فكثر الحديث عن الشيء ممل
مازلت أعيش في غزة
ومازالت الحرب مستمرة
اتضح لي إن الحب يولد هنا
وان الحب هنا أجمل
حيث شاهدت امرأة تقبل رأس زوجها وهو ميت
فتاة تقبل قدم خطيبها لتوقف نزيفه
وفتاة ترفض أن يخطف الموت حبيبها فتدعو له كل يوم
إذا الحب هنا أجمل
وهنا يولد
و اتضح لي أن الموت هنا بشع
وقذر وخائن
حيث ينام الناس بسلام ثم يخطفهم الموت وهم نيام
كل شارع في غزة ذاق جرم الظالمين
لم اعد ابكي
لأني أصبحت اقوي من الحزن
وأصبح الحزن ضعيفا أمامي
استيقظ كل صباح
لأغسل ألامي بالصلاة
واشرب قهوتي
التي تزيد من آلام الشوق ووجع الفراق
انظر على حال مدينتي
حزين على سمائها
متألم على أرضها
باكيا على جمالها
ولا أريد رثائها
ما زال قلبي يحن إلى الهدوء
وما زلت أتوجع من الحرب
وأريدها أن تتركني فانا لا أحبها
ولا أحب السياسة
مللت من الحزن
مللت من الوجع
أريد أن ارسم الابتسامة على جبين وطني
قلبي يبكي على مدينتي
فلو للألم لسان لاشتكي من وجع شعبي
ولو للحزن اعين لأغمضها
لماذا يقتلون مدينتي
لماذا يذبحونها
لماذا يهجرونها
لماذا ييتمون مدينتي
في مدينتي … تحتفظ الجبال بدموع الأمهات
تحتضن الأرض أقدام أم تصرخ على رحيل ابنها
متى سيبتسم الصباح لمدينتي
متى سيحمي الليل مدينتي
يبكي الألم
يصرخ الحزن
لم يعد قلبي يتحمل
كل هذا الحزن
كل هذه البشاعة
عيوني تبكي على موت أبناء وطني
الحزن هنا لا ينتهي
هنا ولدت وهنا بقيت وهنا سابقي”

“I Was Born in Gaza”

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” I Was Born in Gaza”

“I was born in Gaza
I was born here to be sad, heartrending, and heartbreaking
I was born here to be brave, fearless, and daring
I was born here to stay here forever
I was born here to die here
I have experienced many wars
I saw many awful, careful, dreadful, woeful, painful ,and fearful scenes
I heard a child’s screaming calling for a help  for dead mother to wake up
I saw a mother has been praying for God to heal her wounded son
I heard a father’s screaming of the ugliness of pain
I lost my lovers
I lost my friends
But, I did not lose hope , optimism, braveness, confidence and patience
I wake up every day by the sound of death
I watched death and I touched it
So, I’m not afraid from death
Death has become dull, boring, tiresome, tedious, monotonous, and stodgy
I still live in Gaza
And the war continues
But, I’m not scared
Because terror, fear, horror, and panic are weaker than me
I’m fighting for my rights
I’m not fighting for pleasure
I discovered that love was born here
Also it grew up here
It flourished here
And it has been titivated here
And in this city I found the most beautiful kinds of love
In this city, I saw a wife kisses her husband’s head
While he is dead
A girl kissing her fiancé’s  legs to stop the bleeding
A girl prays for God to save her lover from death
So, Gaza is the birthplace of love
This city taught me the actual meaning of braveness and strength
In this place, death kidnaps people while they are sleeping peacefully
Every street in Gaza tasted the nastiness, meanness, brutality ,and cruelty of oppression
Every corner in every street portrayed the pain of massacres in our memories
I wont cry anymore
I wont be sad
I’m stronger than depression, hopelessness, wretchedness, and despair
I was born here to shine as a lightening star in a bleak sky
Grief becomes weak in front of my soul
It can’t invade my soul
Warplanes, Battleships,  and Artillery  can’t challenge my passion and ebullience to dream.
I wake up every morning to refresh my soul by praying
In addition to drink my cup of coffee to increase the pain of longing ,parting, departure and loss of memories
Then I take a look at the saddest city on earth
And I’m crying over its suffering
And I’m still anguishing too
No one could wipe here painful tears which injured her heart
My heart longs for calmness ,safety, and soreness
I don’t like wars
No one like wars
I do not like politics
Silence is calling me
Calmness is missing me
I’m so tired because of grief
I’m sapped due to this painful war
I want to draw a smile on the brow of my city
My heart is crying over this city
Please, don’t kill my city
Don’t burn its greenness
Don’t destroy it
In this city , mountains cry due to the patience of the Palestinian woman
In this city, sands kiss the tears of the Palestinian mothers
When morning will smile to this city
When night will protect this city
Pain cries over this city
Sadness screams over the death of innocent civilians
My heart can’t bear this pain anymore
My eyes crying over the death of my compatriots
Grief does not end here
I was born here
And I will still here
Along with I will stay here forever”

– Mohammed Abdel-Latif Moussa.

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“My name is Mohammed Abdel-Latif Moussa. I’m studying English Literature. I live in Gaza for 21 years. I’m a writer, poet, and translator. I dreamed to share the beauty and sorrow of my country with every one. Actually, I aimed to beautify the image of the Palestinian youth in the eyes of this world or reflect the realistic image of the Palestinian youth.”